Thursday, February 1, 2007

Safety concerns

A few safety concerns:
1. Gotta get the smaller toilet seat.
2. You MUST stay within arms reach of the baby, if he/she falls off, they could really hurt themselves.

Just some tips:
1. Stand to the side. It helps you to avoid the stream.
2. Have one or two toys that he/she can keep in there so they don't get bored.
3. Ration the Toilet Paper. My son has a 2 sheet rule.

Sign for Potty

So, we've been taking him to the potty every time we have heard the call since he was 8 months old. Ever since the beginning, every time he went poop, we would sign "potty" and praise him for going poopy in the potty. Every time he went pee, we would say, "Pssssssss. PEE, PEE". At least once or twice during his potty session, I would help sculpt his hand into the potty sign and show him how to make it. (Translation: I would move his fingers to the right positions for the sign, and show him how to make the movement required for the sign.)

A few months ago, we modified the sign for "potty" to make it easier for him to sign. But once again, we have been VERY consistent. We always take him when we know he's going. Sometimes not on time, but we give a sincere effort.

What else do I need to know?

Well, you should probably know that I am a Speech-Language Pathologist and an Augmentative-Alternative Communication Specialist. I use technology, signs, pictures, objects, gestures and a variety of other tools to help people with severe communication disabilities to communicate. I work part-time and love what I do.

Well, when you really believe in something, you can't help but do it. For years before I had my baby I have been hearing about "baby signs". I was always fascinated with this. Never read the book or anything, but the concepts made sense. In my profession, I have observed many people with a variety of disabilities who used ASL (American Sign Language) to communicate. To be really honest, I have no idea how to be a parent without teaching my kid to sign.

We have been teaching our son signs for 10 or so months now. I have modified some sign language signs to fit his motor development. (aka- what signs I think he can physically perform the motions for faster.) So, instead of shaking his hands for "all done" (finished), he raises both hands above his head. He signs "eat" the normal way. But instead of drink or cup, it was easier for him to sign "eat" and make a verbal attempt at saying "cup". He signs "please" and "more" with the normal ASL signs. For a while, we taught him the traditional ASL sign for toilet, but he didn't seem to be able to physically do the movement, or even an approximation. He seemed to understand it, but made no attempt to imitate it. So we modified it to a pat on our side, basically, the ASL sign for dog, but without the snap. He does it with both hands, it's easier for him.

We usually teach a sign for 3-4 months before it appears in his vocabulary. It's like magic, one day you've been teaching it for 3-4 months and he still doesn't have it. The next day, he's got it! You just never know when it will come in.

Why do it if you don't know if it will work

So, I'm not dumb enough to believe that just because I take my child to the potty when I hear him grunt- that makes him "potty trained". My theory is that he wasn't potty trained, but he had US (his parents) potty trained. We heard/ hear him grunt, we dropped/ drop everything to get him to the right place.

He's 15.5 months now, and he's finally communicating to us his need in another way besides us noticing our little grunt-meister doing his buisness. He actually signs it now- or has been for a week or two. We are thrilled. Wasn't expecting THAT for a LONG time - until about 2.5 years.

So, why would we continue all this time, (7 months) if we weren't sure it would get him to potty train any younger? Well, lots of reasons.
1. It's just cleaner.- A poopy in the potty, or even a half-and-half (half diaper, half potty) diaper is easier to clean up after than a poopy diaper. I work 3 days, so we have a nanny, she'd prefer to take him too. It's just more pleasant.
2. Diaper rash-I have really sensitive skin and so does my husband, but our son has had almost NO diaper rash. The exception is when he happened to have diarrhea and so we couldn't always catch it. Diaper rash happens when poop comes in contact with pee for any period of time. Parents who are trained to listen for "the grunt" generally know immediately when their kid has done the deed. So if we make it to the potty on time, then he has almost no exposure to the poop. If we don't make it on time, then we are still much more aware than normal parents. We haven't trained ourselves to ignore the grunt.
3. Peace of mind- I just didn't feel right about teaching my kid to poop in his pants for 2.0 years or so and then "ripping the diapey out from under him." As a parent, you gotta do what makes sense to you. This is just what made sense to me.

How it all got started.

So, one day, when my son was about 8.0 months old, I noticed a few things:
1. I could usually tell when my son was going poop (Sorry for the less than pretty language.). I had NO idea when he was going pee. But he always made that distinctive grunting sound we all recognize as a munchkin filling their britches.
2. His bowel movements were pretty regular. I was starting to be able to predict when they would occur.
3. His bowel movements were less often than when he was first born. When he was first born, he would go 10-12 times a day, after every time he ate. By about 8 months, he was down to 2-3 times a day.
4. He was already sitting up by himself.

I thought about all that I had read about Infant Potty Training or Elimination Communication and thought, "Well, this is stupid. If I know when he is going to the restroom in his diaper, then why don't I just take him to the toilet." So, the next time he grunted, I took him, and he went to the potty in the potty. It was really that simple.

Just some theory, why we started this.

So My husband was reading all these websites about Infant Potty Training or Elimination Communication right after our baby was born, but I just wasn't up for it at the time, but the theory made sense. We learn to interpret our child's biological behaviors as communication from the time the child is born. The new born roots around for a breast, we assume he/she is hungry. If he cries, he must need something. We soon learn to distinguish between those cries to give the little one what they need.

Well, from the time our baby is born (or soon after) , they also make distinct biological behaviors when they are using the restroom (a grunt, a certain body movement, or expression of discomfort, etc). Most of us just ignore these communication attempts, believing that a child cannot be potty trained until they are at least age 2 or so. What we Americans do instead of listening to/ responding to these communication attempts, is teach them to go in their diaper. The child learns to ignore that biological sign. He/she will get changed sometime. What happens later, just seems cruel to me.... we teach him/her to go in their diaper for 2, 2.5, 3.0 or so years and then, suddenly, we change the expectation on them. They haven't been taught much at all about the process of elimination, but yet, suddenly, they are supposed to go in the potty and only in the potty. Children are often expected to sit on the potty for long periods of time waiting for .... well, they don't really know.... to happen. Then when they don't figure it out for for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months- they get punished or reprimanded for it.

Huh????? So we teach our kids to go in their diaper for 2.5 years and then suddenly expect them to have it all perfect. That just sounds preposterous to me. (No offense to all the normal parent's out there. )

Later Infant Potty Communication Training

When our son was born, my husband did some research on Infant Potty training or elimination communication. He showed me several websites and such. I remember thinking that the concept was really interesting, but sounded quite messy to me. It probably works- the concept makes sense, but it was just a little too adventurous for me. They propose that there is a prime age at about 5 months give or take where you can start the program. This is an age where infants are able to release on command, but cannot withhold. My son would probably have been a great candidate as he peed on us every time we took off his diaper at 5-6 months. They also propose that training infants later is generally less successful. WEll, I have good news. There's hope for those of us who aren't adventurous enough for the first window of opportunity.

My son who is now 15.5 months old has been requesting to go to the restroom when he needs to for the past couple of weeks!!! Shocked, ya, me too. I really wasn't expecting him to figure it out until about 2.5 years or so. So, how is this happening. I'll tell ya the story. You can try it out. If it works for you, my only request, is that you give me credit for sharing the info and write back. I want to see if this works more universally.